YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
