All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
