I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
