i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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