why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
