why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
