maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
