She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
