if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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