My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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