He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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