There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
