your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Is it penis luge time yet?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
