You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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