don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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