We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
