i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
