i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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