what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Randomize