Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.

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  (440): Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade. http://tfl.nu/kiie
  Replies (20) Good night (5590) Bad night (1462)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.

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  (407): We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl. http://tfl.nu/kow0
  Replies (20) Good night (916) Bad night (6586)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.

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  (805): Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible. http://tfl.nu/a85b
  Replies (7) Good night (7464) Bad night (907)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning

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  (323): dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning http://tfl.nu/bjxg
  Replies (6) Good night (2999) Bad night (969)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.

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  (601): He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows. http://tfl.nu/pp93
  Replies (15) Good night (6950) Bad night (1979)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.

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  (619): We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed. http://tfl.nu/uy5s
  Replies (8) Good night (3643) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil

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  (661): Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil http://tfl.nu/8mk8
  Replies (10) Good night (1818) Bad night (1207)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend

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  (+61): I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend http://tfl.nu/q4ch
  Replies (4) Good night (1946) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.

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  (507): I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins. http://tfl.nu/raw5
  Replies (7) Good night (772) Bad night (1049)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.

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  (484): I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game. http://tfl.nu/ixaa
  Replies (8) Good night (1437) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.

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  (203): I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship. http://tfl.nu/lj0r
  Replies (3) Good night (768) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.

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  (907): I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here. http://tfl.nu/70da
  Replies (2) Good night (1174) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.

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  (919): You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober. http://tfl.nu/j9kh
  Replies (0) Good night (432) Bad night (261)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.

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  (978): I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again. http://tfl.nu/29ts
  Replies (6) Good night (574) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?

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  (218): is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle? http://tfl.nu/11e9
  Replies (2) Good night (431) Bad night (279)

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