dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
