He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.