I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
