Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache

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  (206): got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache http://tfl.nu/qh4z
  Replies (23) Good night (4495) Bad night (1222)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.

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  (919): Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt. http://tfl.nu/oq6j
  Replies (38) Good night (4915) Bad night (834)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.

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  (610): It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays. http://tfl.nu/4je9
  Replies (9) Good night (3094) Bad night (862)
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  (415): View more from California

  had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon

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  (415): had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon http://tfl.nu/bpcz
  Replies (8) Good night (3102) Bad night (954)
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  (818): View more from California

  Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.

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  (818): Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell. http://tfl.nu/vgl2
  Replies (22) Good night (2436) Bad night (1185)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  U took a sewing needle to his nipple

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  Psshh,

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  (201): U took a sewing needle to his nipple (1-201): Psshh, http://tfl.nu/q54n
  Replies (5) Good night (790) Bad night (1602)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central

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  (248): What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central http://tfl.nu/56qr
  Replies (2) Good night (1175) Bad night (537)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market

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  (484): cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market http://tfl.nu/r2s5
  Replies (3) Good night (891) Bad night (758)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.

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  (613): you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers. http://tfl.nu/797e
  Replies (3) Good night (1210) Bad night (401)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it

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  (336): Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it http://tfl.nu/7tpk
  Replies (2) Good night (353) Bad night (589)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.

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  (785): There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha. http://tfl.nu/kiqc
  Replies (1) Good night (522) Bad night (299)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.

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  (520): She's on her period. You don't know what fear is. http://tfl.nu/pvji
  Replies (5) Good night (375) Bad night (714)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.

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  (514): I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is. http://tfl.nu/4ifb
  Replies (9) Good night (608) Bad night (441)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.

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  (916): An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES. http://tfl.nu/fy5b
  Replies (1) Good night (560) Bad night (219)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry

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  (920): This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry http://tfl.nu/0lhr
  Replies (0) Good night (101) Bad night (197)

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