I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
