you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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