Got a toothbrush?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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