Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
