OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
