How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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