so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
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Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize