Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
