Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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