Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
