i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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