batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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