you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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