I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
