i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
are you so shy because you have an std?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
