with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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