C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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