I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
