Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
