wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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