you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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