windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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