Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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