Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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