Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
