"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
