Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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