So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
