as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
