oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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