What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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