i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize