I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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