please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
They are going to name an STD after you.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
