I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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