i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
