then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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