i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
