I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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