dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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