Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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