i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
we're chasing vodka with high fives
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
