would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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