i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
