kristin has been a bad kristin
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
