I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
