she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
